Wednesday, April 26, 2006

World cup rules

Got this from a friendster bulletin board....


Below is a list of vital rules for guys with a
footie-mad fella.

In an emotional plea, the women of the world
have
laid out the dos and don't-you-bloody-dares of
tournament viewing which you can print out
and
stick by your telly.

These include vital pieces of etiquette from
beer-in-fridge planning to schoolgals rules like
when not to say 'it's just a game'.

And here we've picked the best - doing the
rounds
on the web as an open letter to the world's
men
- to ensure the nation's guys and girls make
the
perfect team this summer.
_____________________________________

LIST OF RULES

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read
the
sport pages so you are aware of what's going
on
regarding the World Cup and will be able to
join
in conversations.

If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a
bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT
complain
about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine
at
all times without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of
the TV during a game - as long as you do it
crawling on the floor and without distracting
me.

If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV,
make sure you put clothes on right after
because
if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take
you
to the doctor or look after you during the World
Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and
mute
- unless I require a refill of my drink or
something to eat.

You are out of your mind if you expect me to
listen to you, open the door, answer the
telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell
from
the second floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at
least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as
well as plenty of things to nibble on.

And please do not make any funny faces to my
friends when they come over to watch the
games. In
return, you will be allowed to use the TV when
they are not showing any 'live' games, unless
they
replay a good game that I missed.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset
because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say
"get
over it, its only a game" or "don't worry, they'll
win next time".

If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you
will never ever know more about football than
me
and your so called "words of encouragement"
will
only lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one
game and you can talk to me during half-time
but
only when the adverts are on, and only if the
score is pleasing me.

In addition, please note I am saying "one"
game,
hence do not use the World Cup as a nice
cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important.
I
don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen
them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or
any other child related parties or gatherings
that
requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his
house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will
be
there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV
every night is just as important as the games
themselves. Do not even think about saying
"but
you have already seen this...why don't you
change
the channel to something we can all watch?"
The
reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions
such
as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4
years".

I am immune to these words, because after
this
comes the Champions League, Italian League,
Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Women of the World

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