Thursday, August 04, 2005

I'm having mix feelings....

Sigh, looking back at my old times and now, my friends leaving for studies. I keep imagining that I could be next. Each time I think about going overseas, be it study, migration... I will feel very very uneasy..

One part of me feels excited. I am so eager to step upon new soil, new society, new culture, a brand new life... I am able to leave the boundaries of my home , meeting new friends. This is what I am excited about. This is what I so want to experience....

However the other part of me feels sad, heavy, dull... I do not want to leave the country I grew up in, I do not want to leave the culture I have spent almost my 19 years of life living in it, I do not want to leave those I know behind, especially those I come to know soo dearly- My church mates, my love ones, the one come to cherish, family...everyone... I really can't bear to part with them.. I love you all...

I am having mix feelings thinking about it right now.... What am I to do?

What should I do?

What should the choice be?

Where should I go?

Which road I should take?


Sigh, even my church mates whom I know so long will sooner or later will have to leave us for studies. We really grew up didn't we? I can still remember when we were little or still in the lower secondary. All those good times, all those jamming sessions, everything we did together...

Now, we've all grown up. We got our own lives to live...our own stuffs to do... those who are in relationship got a date to go... Sometimes I really wish we could all go back to the time when we are very close...or were we??? anyway, yeah back when we had a jamming sessions. That was a blast.

I guess I should put past behind me... The past is the past, it'll never come back... So I should look at the future ahead.... *sniff* *sob*

To my beloved church mates,

I wish you all well in your studies and future, hope you all are able to achieve your dreams, reach goals.. I hope in future, where ever we will be.. we'll be able to keep in touch...I hope that our friendship, our brother and sister hoods will never end..... I thank you for the supports, the advices... the caring, the endurance you all had to suffer for my stupidity, bragging, complaining

I really thank you all....




btw, I am not yet leaving, nor am I going to die... so don't worry so much yah.



Well, let me see..... I have this pain at the back of my neck and it has been going on for few weeks... If I don't get the ointment fast, I am going to have a major suffering man...
Anyone? got ointment for muscle ache???

Suzanne "borrowed" her Granny's ointmet and let me try..it's quite effective. Unfortunately, I forgot the name of the ointment......

*bonk* My memory is sooooooo lousy.... habis la..exams sure cannot score wan....

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