Wednesday, June 15, 2005

What is going on with the family?

sigh, so many things has happened, i've no longer have any sense of what to do with everything already. Problem after another just begins to occur each time when I think that everything is gonna be alright. I'm glad that I've got people who would always assured me to put my trust in Jesus, but seriously people, each time I called unto Him. I just can't seem to feel Him. I can't seem to hear Him. I want so much to believe Him, but my faith is not even as small as a mustard seed, how could I ever believe 100%?

My recent church camp was quite a blast though, but one thing I lack is what Pastor Philip felt, what Pastor Philip saw, what Pastor Philip heard. I want to have that relationship that he had with God, I want to have that relationship that Dewgem, Lordson, Sharon, everyone in my church had with God.

I called out to Him, it was night though, I really wanted to SHOUT my lungs out to Him! I just want Him to answer me! I just want Him to hear me. But all I hear is the sound of crickets and whatever you can hear during the night. Am I really that a bad person that God doesn't want to listen to me? I've really done such evil to receieve such punishment? Am I really not worthy to be called a child of God? Tell me God!! Tell me!!! I really don't know what to do already. I'm carrying a burden which no one I know have to bear at this age. I'm carrying a burden which should only be carried by me when I'm old enough, but due to some circumstances I had to carry such burdens.

In another unrelated issue, Exams are drawing near, assignments dateline are also drawing near and here am I having a great time with complaining. I better stop complaining and start accomplishing my assignments, but hey, I wouldn't have anything to write would I?
I'm still glad though that I actually passed my Media Planning's mid term. I really am wondering right now, what would my career be like in my near future?
I heard beggers fetch good money, but then I have to stay dirty for months. No way! How about assasinating Donald Duck Trump and take over his industry. Hmm, that would mean I've to kill someone to get the company, ok that's out too. I might consider Journalism though, *
Ah! Finally a decent job that actually makes sense* But my english not that good though, still can improve.

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This is from the Passion of The Christ website.

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this is my version of the Cross, I created it during last years Easter


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